The Fever

I've got a fever. No, I'm not sick, this is a totally different type of fever. I've got baby fever. I've tried to fight it for some time, but there is no denying it anymore. If normal is 98.6 I'd say I'm around 101.9 right now, not a serious life threatening fever, but it is definately there.

When the fever first started I thought it was because my daughter was getting big so fast, and I kept saying that it wasn't that I wanted another baby, it was just that I missed my daughter being a baby. But this feeling is just not going away, in fact it is getting even stronger. I'm watching all the baby shows again, staring at babies when we are out in public, and remembering fondly what it felt like to be pregnant and have that little person in there moving around.

I must say I'm a little taken aback by this fever. Before having Amryn, when I thought about having kids I always said I wanted them atleast 3 years apart. I didn't want to deal with 2 in diapers, and I wanted to allow my first to have time to be "the baby". So when I first started feeling the inklings of this fever, I decided okay, we'll start trying after Amryn turns 2. Now that the fever is increasing by the day, I don't know if I can wait almost another year to try for number 2.

This little voice in my head says "Well, what if it takes awhile to get pregnant?" Okay, this was definately not a problem for us last time, I went off birthcontrol the end of June and I was pregnant by mid-July! So with our luck if I decided today I wanted to get pregnant, we'd probably be pregnant in the next month or so. But what if??

I think my husband would totally be onboard, he really wants his boy. He also makes comments to Amryn like "With the rate Mommy's going you'll be 20 before you get a brother." Of course he's not the one that actually has to carry and HAVE the baby, and he's the one that goes to work each day and wouldn't have to be home with 2 little ones.

Logistically, I think it would be better for me to have another baby before trying to go back to work again, or I'd just have to start a job and then end up taking time off. I would really like to be able to stay at home with the second child for atleast the 1st year. At this point if I waited to go back to work until after a second child I could probably wait to go back to work until Amryn starts preschool.

So much to think about...I will keep you posted.