If someone would have told me about 2 years, that I would be sitting here today, a wife and a mother, I would have thought they were crazy!! I had reached the point where I didn't really think those things were in my future. I certainly didn't have any clue how those things would so drastically change everything in my life.
For most of my adult life my friends have mostly been gay men, yes folks I am a fag hag. I didn't really choose to only have gay male friends, it just sort of happened...my best friend from high school came out to me my Freshman year of college, and he started introducing me to people, and it just sort of snowballed from there. I have always said my friends are my friends because of the people they are not for who they sleep with. (Though a friend once pointed out that some of my friends are my friends because of who've they've slept with...lol) But with all of these gay friends, I guess I sort of "checked out" of the straight world, so while women my age were off getting married and having babies, I was "mothering" a gaggle of gay bois! Then I turn 30, and things really started to change in my life, and I found myself slowly being forced back into this "straight world" and realizing that I have no clue how to behave. The problem is, I don't feel like I belong in either world anymore. Some of those I once called friends don't seem to understand me now, and I have no clue how to go about making friends with these other women whom I feel like the only thing we have in common is the fact that we are mothers.
I'm not exactly what you'd call domestic. I attribute that to several factors, one being the fact that growing up I never really had to worry about doing chores, or learning about how a home is run. Some would say I was spoiled, and I guess for lack of a better term, I was. I grew up with my Dad and Grandparents, and being an only child of an only child...well, the sun rose and set on me for the most part. But it is the lack of domestic skills that I find really overwhelming as a stay at home Mom. I guess I'm just not sure of how to organize myself, let alone how to do it all while dealing with a baby!
Sometimes I feel like I've been thrust into someone elses life. Now don't get me wrong, I love my husband and daughter, and I wouldn't change having them for anything. I guess it is just that I don't really know how to live this new life, where to go, what to do. I understood how my life used to work, now I have no idea what I am supposed to do.
So dear reader, this is Jess in Momland. This is where I'll be writing about my experiences with motherhood, gay bois, being a wife, and finding my way through my new life. Stay tuned, I'm sure things will get interesting!
2 days ago